Greetings from our home to yours.
As you venture out to experience holiday cheer, one thing we are certain of is holidays can be hard for adoptees. We can have a million reasons to be happy, yet the adoptee feelings are sometimes hard to overcome.
Of course I’m not speaking for all adoptees, but from my experience and knowing hundreds all over the world, many of us do struggle.
I guess I would describe it as a deep sadness or despair that comes more than goes during the holiday season. For a non-adoptee I would maybe explain it as a time of grief, loss and sadness. Holidays are a reminder of family and for adoptees, we have two families, our adoptive families and our biological families. This dynamic situation that we had no control over can create an overwhelming emotional experience for the adoptee.
Many times we can feel alone and isolated in a room full of people and no one can relate or understand this. We can be triggered by photos of other peoples families, and the fact that we feel like we’re in limbo between our family situation, never really feeling like we fit in to either.
Please understand the way you are feeling is normal for a not normal situation. Many adoptees feel this way and you aren’t alone.
For me, I’ve decided that family isn’t always biological or adoptive, but it’s who we make it. I still struggle but I try my best to focus on all the things I have to be thankful for and for the relationships that I hold close to my heart who are active in my life now. Again, sometimes it’s easier said than done.
Reaching out to other adoptees in online communities and support groups is a wonderful resource to get us through the holidays. I’ve found that connecting with others who understand to be one of the most valuable resources so far. I would love to share a few recommended resources for any adoptees who might come across this blog post who are feeling particularly alone this holiday season.
By next year at this time we will have our support group up and running and have multiple meetings through out the holiday season.
Meanwhile, I’m going to set up a private chat group for Adoptees in or around the Lexington, KY area. This way we can have a safe space NOW to share and get to know one another.
Many blessings to all,